FORGIVE – FORGET

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FORGIVE – FORGET

Can we forgive ourselves
wrong choices and mistakes,
smile at decisions that shone?
Both part of learning and growth.

Part of the fabric of life.

Can we forgive others for pain they caused,
foul actions and words?
Not brood or let them darken our days?
Can we hurl burdens overboard.

How easy the ship would sail, unladed.

I believe we can forgive,
I wonder, what about forget?
How would it feel to toss all darkness to the winds.

Would the sun shine brighter
would we skip with joy?

Our brain holds memories,
can there still be acceptance and peace?
I believe so,
we can put the millstones down
one by one.

Don’t be slaves, carrying weights long gone;
Let them be absorbed by Cosmos so vast,
where neither time nor thought exist.

Imagine to feel free,
feel the joy of dance
see the sunset, really behold.

Forgive yourself and others
walk with knowledge and no rancour,
smile at passers by.

In sunshine or soft rain.

Β© miriam ivarson

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54 thoughts on “FORGIVE – FORGET

  1. I needed that! It is so easy to forgive others, but so arduous to forgive yourself. Old wrongs pop up at random moments and make me (want to) scream. You, make me want to do something! Thank you!

    Liked by 3 people

    • Ahh … thank you B. , how glad I am that you were touched by these words.
      Maybe the other thing you want to do is hug yourself and then dance around
      with someone you love.
      Then tell yourself you haven’t got time for these ‘old wrongs’ . Life is beautiful
      even if tough at times.
      Big hug

      Miriam

      Liked by 1 person

    • And Brad, so is your comment, beautiful and encouraging. Thank you.
      It is amazing how difficult we humans find it to drop those hurts and, as you say, let them float away. Once we see this choice clearly we can live a much
      happier life with space for spirit to grow.

      miriam

      Like

  2. Your rich imagery helps me imagine hurling away my resentments including the ones I carry about my own mistakes which are lessons learned. I would have a hard time forgetting because I fear making the same mistakes again, but it helps to know I can forget the mistake and remember the lesson it taught me. I like how you ask questions and respond that you believe forgiveness is possible. Perhaps the mistakes will fade away leaving the wisdom to stay with us always.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. JoAnna, thank you for your generous and deep comment. It makes me smile thinking of us hurling and tossing away, both those burdens about our own mistakes and hurts by others.
    The lessons we learnt through pain will be written in to our automatic recall
    and can be used as and when needed. We don’t need to go and mull them over.
    Furthermore, they show we lived, dared to live.

    Just as well you like me asking questions 😊. I like sharing so want to hear
    your opinions.

    Miriam

    Liked by 1 person

  4. And the Buddha laid his hand on the good earth and immediately the earth sang of its approval for her son. Sometimes all we need to forgive ourselves lies quietly within, we just need to listen… jc

    Liked by 2 people

  5. A profound reminder Miriam, thanks for sharing. Let me ask how many times have you forgiven and how quickly?
    A hurt comes like a storm, creating havoc, wrecking your little world of trust and love. Little hurts may seem insignificant to others but they take away a chunk of your heart yet they do make you ponder, introspect and resilience does trot in…the time in-between is fraught with cumbersome thoughts, too heavy to bear. The sun of forgiveness does knock off the thick fog into which we drift but it takes a lot of time to understand why forgiveness is essential and how we can convince ourselves to forgive.
    Forget? Never!

    Liked by 3 people

    • Balroop, thank you for your amazing response. I feel this touched your heart as it does mine. To answer your first question about how many times I have forgiven would be impossible. You know that so I think there was another depth behind.
      Your dramatic and wonderful middle section I leave alone, it speaks too strongly for itself. Wonderful and dramatic.
      Your adamant statement in the end about forget could be worth a discussion
      In itself.
      Hug to you
      Miriam

      Liked by 2 people

  6. Thank you for your heartfelt comment Roland. Yes, to forgive does not always come easy, we all hurt easily. The burden of carrying those hurts inside – unresolved seems to be self harming in the end.
    To forget totally might be impossible but to take the sting out of the memory
    is possible.
    I have been training long 😊 and am making progress.

    Miriam

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Jaqui, shame we live on different continents or we could have a hurling
    time together. Sort out those niggling things if yours and I am sure I
    will find a pile. Then, off they go. Phew, didn’t that feel better. 🌈.

    miriam

    Like

  8. Miriam, what strikes me first when you mention forgiveness is about forgiving oneself? For the decisions taken? My heart goes out to you if you’ve experienced this … and I feel that should not be a question that even needs to be raised!

    Your poem becomes increasingly profound as you look at the act of forgiving others … and how ultimately this is a liberating act. As one who remembers so much, the pain caused by others, the lies told, I love the idea of letting the cosmos absorb them all, letting forgiveness take its place.

    As you advocate for us in this beautiful and thought-provoking poem, I hope you also heed your own words and …

    β€˜Imagine to feel free,
    feel the joy of dance
    see the sunset, really behold.’

    A deeply philosophical poem, Miriam that will stay with me and from I hope to learn! ❀️ Xx

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Annika, thank you so much for this deep and in a way – comforting – comment on this poem. Your first paragraph is so sweet. I do feel though that it is important to be aware of our own thoughts and words. πŸ€— .

    As to forgiving others, this is a liberating act. I do believe too many lives are spent in reminiscing about past hurts, and they are there. At times very serious, at times like pricking daggers. Either way, to be free and not carry this darkness must be the only way to live now.

    Annika, I will be heeding my own words. With a couple of friends I am off to the coast for two days, walking the beach and staying in a lovely hotel. Might even shop something totally whimsical. 😊 .

    miriam

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Wonderful words of truth and encouragement. Your words remind me of the words in the scripture that tell us to forgive “seventy times seven,” meaning to never stop. When we think of a wrong, it’s not easy to forgive but we are exhorted to do so, to have positive relationships and to release the inner feeling that eventually causes damage. Since our minds occasionally bring the wrong up again, since we likely can’t forget completely, that’s the beauty of continuing to forgive; including forgiving ourselves. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Thank you Ron for your in depth and positive comment.
    The bible does indeed say seventy times seven about forgiving. Quite poetic and true. To carry to much unforgiveness and chew over old hurts does harm and creates a bitter and sad human being.

    No, it isn’t easy but the opposite is so much harder.

    miriam

    Like

    • Julie, your beautiful comment warmed my heart this morning.
      It is so heartening when you feel the message goes through.
      These are thoughts that have been with me on and off since young and
      with time I have realised the truth.

      miriam

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Wise thoughts so gently offered Miriam. I try to always be the better man, and teach my children the same. When people cause us hurt they infect us with a virus that lingers and flares up. The only medication to rid ourselves of this is ‘forgiveness’. As to forgetting, as long as the forgiveness is true and complete, it doesn’t matter for me. However, it is a good thing at times not to forget, as in the Holocaust for example.
    Thank you for an important and thought-provoking poem.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Thank your Nigel for your true and in depth comment. I so appreciate them.
    This subject started rearing its head when I was very young. I did realise quite early that by forgiving we actually rid ourselves of burdens and darkness as well as giving a gift.
    I do love your image of a virus that can easily flare up and whose only cure is forgiveness. Concisely put. And that goes for forgiving ourselves mistakes we are most bound to have made.

    As to forgetting. No, the brain will not forget but I believe we can leave the constant repitition of a hurt behind. Here I talk about personal pains.
    History is good to remember as it might possibly stop repetition of itself.

    Miriam

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Wise words indeed Miriam. I have always tried to forgive because it eases the soul. To retain feelings for revenge is a waste of time. Forgive and move on. Forgetting however is another matter!
    Mike

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you Mike for your equally wise words. ” To retain the feelings for revenge is a waste of time” . How true.
      As to forget, the mind can’t forget unless we lose those faculties but the remembering can take on a different form. No longer domineering, just a
      – yes, that hurt very much – , or, – that was stupid to do – .

      Miriam

      Like

  15. These are a thought provoking questions, Miriam. Yes, we could find our way to forgive, but physiologically the memories won’t disappear. In psychology and counseling, we could only help people to cope with those memories. After forgiveness, when memories appear, hopefully, they don’t have impact on us before the forgiveness. We still remember but have different feelings. Very good thoughts!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Thank you Miriam for your in depth and thoughtful comment.
    Genuine forgiveness does make memories take on less impact unless we choose to dwell on them. It is hard to let go unless you first recognise your hurt and then dare feel the freedom of forgiving and not carry the burden any longer.
    Yes, I agree, the memory will pop up but less frequent in someone who turned their face to the sun. I am not saying this easily, Miriam, like many I have been there a number of times.
    Bless

    miriam

    Like

  17. I know, intellectually, that it’s so much healthier to forgive and let things go, but it’s so hard to do. It requires tenacious application of effort to truly forgive so we can move forward. Even, maybe especially, to forgive ourselves. I remind myself that there is a difference between error and malice. Malice is much more difficult to forgive but not so easy to determine – how do I know what another person intends to be hurtful or what is only my interpretation?

    A thoughtful poem, Miriam, and one I will try to take to heart.

    (It must say something about me that I coudn’t even comment about this poem until today.)

    Liked by 2 people

    • Sharon, it says a lot that you didn’t just dump this post when it seemed hard
      and uncomfortable. You really wanted to find your own truth.
      I am sure you will my friend.

      Believe me, the subject has been with me a long time too and it is from the depth of looking at myself and others I find the answers put forward.
      Yes, you have t recognise the hurt within before you can let go. Say hello and
      acknowledge its presence, then tell it that you cannot carry it anymore.
      Just put it down and say thank you for what you taught me.

      Very few worth while things come without perseverance but is it really in the long run easier to carry pain, anger, regrets …? I am sure you agree with me that it is not, and it is sad too.

      As we meet new difficulties we get better at leaving things alone straight away.
      Thank you for listening to my ramble.πŸ€— .

      Miriam

      Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for your thoughtful comment. No, it isn’t an easy subject to write about as it digs deeper into ourselves. The thoughts and understanding has
      been with me for many years and I really believe that carrying burdens of anger and even darker thoughts destroys our days.

      Thank you also for your follow and welcome on mywindow.

      miriam

      Like

  18. Chuck, thank you for your strong and heartwarming response. You have me
    teareyed. You are right about the many of us who have gone through
    heartbreak of various kind and yes also betrayal.
    We need not carry those burdens constantly. Life is too precious.
    Miriam πŸ¦‹

    Liked by 1 person

    • You are more than welcome, My Dear!! I loved this and am planning on reblogging this tonight. This will be so helpful for those going through heartaches that will be so comforted by your words!! I love the quote a friend shared with me years ago, “Forgive, Forget, Move On”!
      xoxoxo

      Liked by 1 person

      • I am very glad to be re-blogged by you and appreciate your trust in my
        words. Your friend’s words ring very right to me but most find the forget
        part difficult. 🌺.

        miriam

        Like

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